This was written in 2017 -I found it in my old blogs so I thought I would post this… and a few older ones, before i fire this blog back up now in 2023!
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For 19 years, year by year, my husband Harry has watched me go deeper and deeper into a world that he does not necessarily understand. I am a spiritual person who connects with God/universe, lives a life based on divine calling and purpose, and speaks with the trees, longing for a world where everyone comes together in love and unity. Yet, I am married to a man who does not necessarily believe in God, and for him, he feels his soul’s purpose is to simply be a husband and a father… and he most certainly does not speak to trees! However, he does live a life based on love and unity.
Over many years, Harry slowly learned to accept my connection with most things (angels, birds, spirits, universe), but whenever I mentioned the ‘Jesus’ thing in recent years, tension built between us.
I am not ‘religious,’ but I do have a profound and undeniable connection with Jesus that started about 5 years ago. To be honest, I hid it for so many years because I was ashamed and embarrassed about it. I had no intention of going to church, but I didn’t need to—Jesus came to me, and it was BIG. However, Harry was angry with religion; he felt that religion has been the problem in the world, and deep down, he worried that I might run off and join the church!
We’ve journeyed through some murky waters regarding spirituality and Jesus. It’s been tough at times. There have been moments when I’ve been on my knees by the river, screaming to God, ‘This work, this calling, it’s too big!’
I was tired of trying to get him on my side. There was nothing left inside of me except a deep knowing that I understood my truth, and that was all I had left. And I knew something significant was happening to me—and it did. (I have since written tow books since this blog post)
With time, Harry learned to accept my connection with most things (angels, birds, spirits, universe), but whenever I mentioned the ‘Jesus’ thing in later years, tension built between us. He was angry with religion, feeling that religion had been the source of many problems in the world. Deep down, he worried that I might run off and join the church.
I had to embark on my own journey of acceptance, and along the way, I asked God for guidance. I learned that I had to ease off the pressure. I didn’t need to convince anyone to believe in what I did. I simply had to be myself and find peace in that.
What we did agree upon was to respect each other’s belief systems (his science, mine spirituality). We had to learn how to manage our expectations of each other when it came to needing support. What we both learned was that when we respected each other’s belief systems, we found peace. Once we accepted that we didn’t need to convince each other, a weight lifted from our energy field. We found a place between right and wrong, where expectations no longer held sway.
It’s not belief that creates that deep and beautiful connection with another human; it’s our values.
For the whole story – read “Awakening of the Western Woman” and ‘Earth Chaka Shaman’